Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!” (YES LORD, DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHEN I WAS 14 YEARS OLD AND I PRAYED "HERE AM I, LORD SEND ME" I MEANT SEND ME TO SAVE THE WORLD, NOT SEND ME PAIN, SUFFERING, TRIALS, HEARTACHE!)
20 I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss. (MY LOSS OF HAVING A NORMAL FAMILY LIFE, NORMAL PREGNANCIES, NORMAL BIRTHS, A FIRST BORN SON THAT SHOULD BE IN SPORTS, RUNNING, TALKING, EATING, HOW AM I SUPPOSSED TO BE USED BY YOU GOD, WHEN I'M HOME CHANGING THE DIAPERS OF A 13 YEAR OLD AND WILL BE HERE 10 YEARS FROM NOW DOING THE SAME? HOW CAN I BE USED BY YOU WHEN I'M EXHAUSTED! WHEN I'M OVERWHELMED WITH DOCTORS AND THERAPISTS, TELLING ME "THERE IS NO HOPE FOR YOUR SON"?)
21 Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:
22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends! (YES, IT HAS BEEN THE ONLY THING GETTING ME UP EVERY MORNING, THAT AND MY AMAZING HUSBAND!)
His mercies never cease. (IF I WERE YOU LORD, I WOULD HAVE ZAPPED ME WITH A LIGHTING BOLT A LONG TIME AGO, FOR MY LACK OF FAITH, JUST LIKE THE ISRAELITES, GRUMBLING, SEEING YOUR HAND, FORGETTING, THAN GRUMBLING AGAIN! SOMETIMES I MAKE MYSELF SICK!)
23 Great is his faithfulness; (FAITHFUL TO GIVE ME STRENGTH, FAITHFUL TO BLESS MY STEPS, FAITHFUL TO BE THERE WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS THERE, THE WAY I WANT THEM TO BE THERE...WE DON'T ALWAYS GET WHAT WE WANT AND WE SHOULDN'T)
his mercies begin afresh each morning. (THAT IS WHY TOMORROW I WILL WAKE UP AND BE HAPPY, NO NOT HAPPY, HAPPY IS SO CIRCUMSTANTIAL, I WILL BE JOYFUL!)
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”(MAY I NEVER LOSE HOPE IN YOU GOD; I HAVE LOST HOPE IN MY FAMILY, IN DOCTORS, IN THERAPISTS, IN SOCIAL WORKERS, IN MY KIDS SCHOOL, I WILL NEVER LOSE HOPE IN YOU!)
25 The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.
to those who search for him.
26 So it is good to wait quietly (I AM LACKING HERE LORD! HELP ME BE QUIET! HELP ME STOP WHINING AND COMPLAINING! HELP ME STOP ALWAYS TRYING TO FIND THE ANSWER AND EXPLANATION FOR EVERYTHING!)
for salvation from the Lord.
for salvation from the Lord.
27 And it is good for people to submit at an early age
to the yoke of his discipline:
28 Let them sit alone in silence (OH THERE'S THAT WORD AGAIN "SILENCE" OH HOW I WISH THERE WAS A SCHOOL THAT I COULD GO TO TO LEARN HOW TO DO THIS...WAIT! AM I IN THAT SCHOOL RIGHT NOW?)
beneath the Lord’s demands.
beneath the Lord’s demands.
29 Let them lie face down in the dust,
for there may be hope at last.
30 Let them turn the other cheek to those who strike them and accept the insults of their enemies. ("YOUR SON MIGHT ONLY LIVE 10 MORE YEARS, "YOUR SON ISN'T SHOWING ANY PROGRESS", YOUR SON WILL BE A VEGETABLE, HAVE YOU CONSIDERED PUTTING HIM IN A HOME?) HELP ME LORD! TURN THE OTHER CHEEK.
31 For no one is abandoned (DON'T LEAVE ME! DON'T LEAVE US! WE NEED YOU!
by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
because of the greatness of his unfailing love. (I MAY NOT UNDERSTAND IT ALL, BUT I ACCEPT IT, I ACCEPT YOU LORD AND YOUR PLAN)
by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
because of the greatness of his unfailing love. (I MAY NOT UNDERSTAND IT ALL, BUT I ACCEPT IT, I ACCEPT YOU LORD AND YOUR PLAN)
33 For he does not enjoy hurting people
or causing them sorrow.
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